


What the bloody hell is "Shipping"?

by Nollids



Category: Agents of SHIELD - Fandom
Genre: AU, Characters 'Shipping Characters, F/F, F/M, Mention of Phil Coulson - Freeform, Sex Pollen, mention of Steve Rogers - Freeform, mention of Wanda Maxamoff, mention of clint barton - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nollids/pseuds/Nollids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy becomes the Avengers inside (wo)man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Ok" Coulson thought to himself. "Thor was right, Darcy DOES do good for them "

When the Avengers had found out SHIELD was still up and running, they decided that they needed a neutral liason. Some how that person became Darcy Lewis. 

Darcy had been with the team for about 3 weeks when it happened. The 0-8-4. The team got word of it in the eastern desert of Egypt and decided they need to investigate due to the fact 17 Egyptian soldier who had found it ended up dead. 

So Jemma, Bobbi, Skye, May, Hunter, Fitz, Mac, and Darcy all decided To go. Or more accurately Darcy got stuck going when she walked onto the bus right before take off. Everyone other than May didn't mind it due to the fact she was untrained. Everyone loved Darcy and understood why she was recommended. 

When everyone got there everyone did their usual thing May, Hunter and Skye all did guard. Mac ran back end with Darcy. Fitz and Simmons did the actual investigating of the object. While they were there Bobbi was standing as escort, pretending like she didn't understand what the other two scientists were saying, but she wasn't fooling Darcy. She did her research, she knew about the PhD. 

Everything went according to plan until one of the dwarfs accidentally tapped the object, spraying Fitz with a Yellow-gold mist. Obviously everyone panicked. 

50 highly stressed minutes later he and the 0-8-4 were both in the bus' lab. Simmons had been doing tests in a hazmat suit but the way Fitz was acting was starting to get more animalistic, and it was difficult. Finally Hunter and Mac had to drag him to the cage. 

When that was done they all met in the conference room. 

"Well Simmons?" May asked very much annoyed. "Do you have anything we can use?"

Simmons looked embarrassed. "Well, um, yes. But you see, as the uh"

"Spit it out, Simmons!" Skye said annoyed. 

"Right. Um- Whatever that substance that entered Fitz's bloodstream has flooded his system with hormones. If they aren't removed, he will go into Cardiovascular shock." Seeing the confused faces. "He will over dosing on these hormones."

Darcy looked around seeing the shocked faces of everyone except Bobbi, who asked "Is there a way to remove them synthetically?"

"I am afraid I tried to no avail. They just flooded back into his system." Then her face looked mortified. "Although there is a way for someone to help him." She looked around at all the faces that just screamed "WELL?"

"Someone could go in there and help him displace the hormones." She looked around at the group seeing that no one understood. Her face got as red as Thor's cape as she said. "Biblically" Which brought a chorus of "ohhh"s

"Well can't the lad.... Just take care 'imself?" Hunter asked sheepishly. 

"He isn't thinking clearly enough. He's now running on pure animalistic urges" Simmons shuddered as she said the last word. 

Mac broke the silence the formed after that. "So someone needs to go in there?"

When everyone looked at Simmons as if to say "what are you waiting for", Darcy realized why she looked so red faced. They all expected her to go, as the phrase goes. "Scratch his itch."

Taking pity upon the tiny scientist, Darcy spoke up. "Skye should be the one to go in!"

That brought a chorus of "WHATS?!?".

"Yeah, I totally ship Skye and Fitz." Which brought numerous confused looked by everyone except Skye. 

"Really, no way! Wow! I've never met anyone other then me who does that!" Skye said giddy as a school girl. 

"I know, right? I actually have ships for almost all of you! The Avengers too. Some with you guys AND the Avengers. " Darcy said getting more and more excited. 

"Really? Let's hear 'em!"

"I really hate to break this gal pow wow and all" Hunter began, "But what the bloody hell is 'shipping'"

Skye explained, "It's when you think two character on a TV show or in a book should be relationship. Shortened to 'shipping'"

Hunter sighed, "And you do this with real people?" He asked. 

"Yup" Darcy and Skye replied simultaneously. 

Skye then said, "Come on then let's hear them."

"Well like I said You and Fitz" Darcy began. "You too look so cute together!"

She saw the hurt on Simmons face and said to her "Hey, don't worry! It's nothing Against you. It's just... you scientists need someone more grounded. Jane is the same way. But I have one for you too! It's alright." But Jemma did not look as pleased as Darcy thought that comment would make her. 

She got back to it. "Then obviously there's that huge sexual tension between May and the iPod thief." Numerous people wanted to ask but no one did. 

"Then Hunter and" He and Bobbi looked at each other as Darcy continued "the Scarlet Witch" 

Everyone looked at her, "She has this way of just having everything slide off her like oil. So she wouldn't be subseptable to your snark." 

Hunter looked like he was about to say something when Bobbi cut him off. "Let her finish so we can get this over with."

"Sorry Mac" Darcy began. "I haven't found you one YET" putting a lot of emphasis on the word yet, causing him to roll his eyes. 

"Then finally Bobbi and Jemma" Darcy said very smug. 

Both girls in unison exclaimed "What?"

"You know, I can totally see that!" Skye said gaining dirty looks from both of them. 

Suppressing giggles, Hunter asked "Why those two?" earning a dark look from Bobbi. 

"Well first and foremost, the biochem degrees." She said matter of factly. 

Everyone except Mac looked confused. 

"You know from Georgia Tech. " even Hunter looked surprised. 

Jemma spoke looked at Bobbi, "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because I'd be stuck in the lab" she said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I transferred to field work for a reason. I was at Sci-Tech for 6 months before I got bored so I transferred."

"A PhD in BioChemistry? And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Yes" as they all looked at Bobbi she said, "well there's something you didn't consider. I can't speak for Jemma, but I'm not Gay!"

"Uhhhh-- yeah!" Jemma said her cheeks turning slightly pink. Everyone looked at her but no one decided to comment. 

"Yeaaaaah. Suuuure." Darcy said in disbelief. "On the OFF chance you two didn't swing for that side, I have others for you both. Bobbi yours is Hawkey--"

She was cut off when Hunter started to uncontrollably laugh and Bobbi's face went a deep shade of red.

Mac filled in the blanks for the rest of them. "Clint is Bobbi's" he gave Hunter a disappointed glance, "OTHER ex". 

Bobbi wanting to get the attention off of her said, "You said you have one for Jemma?"

Jemma gave her a dirty look " Actually can we get back to the matter at--"

"Yup!" Darcy said with more enthusiasm then Jemma had heard in anybody except Skye. "Captain America!"

This definitely caught everyone's attention. Even Hunter stopped laughing. To listen in. 

"Yeah," Darcy began "you both are goody-goodies. Almost to the point of annoyance. Plus he has a thing for British gals."

It seemed as though Jemma had a really good come back until there was a huge crash from the cage. "Fitz!"

Skye pushed past her taking off her coat. "Skye, what the hell are you doing?" May asked somewhat scared of the answer. 

"Well you heard Simmons! Someone needs to go in there and scratch the itch." With that comment everyone cringed. "Besides," she said calling over her shoulder as she walked towards the cage, "before I got shot, Fitz told me he likes to work with his hands. I'd like to know what he meant."

"Aww come on!" Almost everyone said in unison. 

Mac then said "Come on, Tremors! We don't want to hear that!"

As Skye opened the door to the cage. She winked at them. The door opened and Fitz grabbed and yanked Skye in. The still open door was then closed by an unseen force. 

"Well that image is going to be scarred onto my brain for the rest of time." Hunter said braking the silence. 

"The camera in the cage!" Bobbi exclaimed running out of the room. She was gone for a few minutes. Before walking back in. With a smug look on her face she said "It's filming!"

May's hand went up to her eyes. After seeing that Bobbi added "You know, to monitor the situation!" Then Darcy jumped like she'd been stung by a hornet. "I never asked Skye what her ships were!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The after math of the Yellow-Gold mist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's somewhat of a sex scene in this but it's not too graphic.

4 hours later

Skye was hanging off the edge of bed that was connected to the wall of the cage as she woke up. And when she felt an arm around her somehow naked body she panicked a little bit before realizing what had happened. She had sex with Fitz. 5 times. 

She looked over and saw him sleeping and silently thanked God he was asleep. She was exhausted and really didn't want to go at it again although she wouldn't mind it. She decided she'd deny it to anyone else, but she could admit to herself, he was really good, if a little rough. But she chalked that up to the yellow mist. 

She was trying to SLOWLY slide out from under him so not to wake him up. That's when her communicator went off louder than she knew it was able to. 

"Skye? Are you there? Are you guys done? I should really check Fitz's vitals." Jemma said over coms. 

If that didn't wake Fitz up, then it was Skye flinching when she heard it from across the room. She got up quickly and as quietly as possible to turn it off. But it didn't work. As she was on the other side of the room to turn it off, she looked over her shoulder to see Fitz standing right over her. 

"Damn!" She thought to herself. "How does someone who's been acting like a Caveman move so silently?"

With that thought Fitz grabbed her by the Hips and brought her up so she was had both hands against the wall and then he went to work. And Skye had to admit to herself, he was getting better every time. 

Finally they were both done and finished. Fitz when to go back to bed, Skye tried to follow but her legs buckled out from under her. She couldn't stand by herself anymore. Fitz must of heard her fall because he put his left arm around her ass and his right in the middle of her back, so he could pick her up and carry her like a small child. Skye couldn't help but wonder if it was the serum that made him this strong or she had under estimated him and it was just natural. 

As they made their way over to the bed, Fitz dropped her on the bed quite bluntly so she was on her right side. He flipped her on her stomach and then grabbed her by the hips again raising them to his pelvis. She couldn't believe how much she actually enjoyed being manhandled. She used to be the one that did most of the work. It was nice to not have to anymore. 

After he was done for the seventh-- Yes, Leopold Fitz had enough stamina to go 7 times-- time, he put her back on her side, and slid her towards the wall. Then he wrapped his arms around her. Putting himself between the door and her. The gesture was oddly both possessive and protective and Skye was cursing herself out for liking it. She hated getting attached to any one person and she could feel it coming (No not that way you perverts). 

A little after 6 hours after he was exposed, 5 after Skye joined him, Fitz woke up clear headed. Skye could tell because as she was drifting off she was snapped awake by "What the Bloody Hell!"

Fitz jumped up accidentally yanking Skye back onto her back. "What the bloody hell happened to my clothes! Where are your clothes" he said as an afterthought. 

After Fitz had his way with her for hours (Not that she didn't enjoy them just as much and not that she'd admit it probably more) she decided to have her way with him. 

"Come back to bed baby. Coulson isn't expecting us for another two hours." Skye said in a pretend sleepy voice

"What?"

Just come back to bed" she said now in a pretend annoyed voice "And go no sleep, no more Sex tonight."

"We had--" Fitz let the thought trail off. 

"Yup" Skye said looking at him. "About time huh?"

Fitz's eye got wide. Skye started laughing. "Relax. I'm not expecting a proposal. 

"We had sex?" 

"Yup" Skye said "Quite a few times. Around the 3rd or 4th time you tried sneaking in the back door but other than that you were just fine. 

He said then in a voice that she was bare able to hear said "I had sex?"

"Oh my God " Skye said trying to keep her voice level "Please tell me you weren't a virgin before this." 

"What? No. Of course not!"

"Fitz you're almost as bad of a lier as Simmons. Oh God. Simmons! She is going to kill me! Wait did she kn--"

There was knock on the door and Fitz started getting dressed so quickly that it was a blur. Skye just flipped the blanket up over her naughty parts due to the fact that her clothes were on the other side of the room and she still couldn't move her legs. 

"Hey guys?" Bobbi's voice apprehensive. "Can we come in?"

"Yeah," Skye Called out, and all the women on the bus minus May walked in. Fitz got a bit flustered due to the fact he wasn't wearing a shirt. 

"Well I see you guys have been productive." Darcy joked causing Fitz to go red. 

"Fitz put a shirt on so we can go to the lab and check your vitals." To which he happy complied to get the hell out of there. 

After they were gone, Bobbi said "Come on Skye, I have to check your vitals too to make sure you don't have any of that stuff in your system. "

"You're checking me?" Skye said trying not to sound mean. 

"Yes, because apparently" Bobbi turned her head towards Darcy. "I haven't been a team player when it comes to the lab"

"Darcy can you hand me my clothes." Skye asked

The two girls looked at her questioningly. Not looking either in the eye she said, "I can't walk."

Both looked like they wanted to say something, but neither did. They helped Skye get dressed and helped her out of the room. 

Bobbi added,"Sorry for calling you like that earlier. If we had known it would've woken him up we'd have waited."

"Oh it's no big deal, that time--" Skye trailed off "wait. Were you guys WATCHING?"

"Well it was so we knew if we had to step in, in a case of him stepping over the line!" 

Skye just glared at her but was able to start walking again (abet with a limp.)

When they got down to the lab Jemma and Fitz were arguing about something or another. When he saw Skye's limp he went red in the face. Again. 

The check up went pretty much without a hitch. Although Fitz looked at the device quite nervously. It was a hour glass looking device that the liquid yellow gold stayed on top, the lower levels liquid was falling up into the upper level. After the two Biochemists were done, they sent their patients on their merry way. The lab door closed and Skye and Fitz walked up to Darcy who was leaning in the little bus. 

"We should probably talk ab--" Fitz began. When there was a hissing noise, then the sound of sirens. Both Bobbi and Jemma were sprayed with the mist. 

Fitz sprinted over to the door and sealed them. 

Darcy just said "Well, Well, well. There goes the second of my Ships sailing off." Earning her the glare of both Fitz and Skye


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Leopold Fitz! You open this door right now!" Jemma was almost yelling. 

"You know I can't, Simmons! The mist might've gotten out. We can't let it infect anyone else."

Jemma looked over her shoulder apprehensively. "At least separate us." She pleaded. 

Bobbi was already getting that foggy look on her face that Fitz got. She had been standing less than a foot away from the device while Jemma had been about 8 or 9 so it was effecting her slower. 

"I can't! You know I would. It could leak out. "

"Nooo, if you were actually lucid earlier you would've realized it fades away after 5 secon--" she tensed up as Bobbi walked up and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl in an intimate embrace. "Fitz!" She said said as her face started to fade as well. 

"Actually...." Darcy began "Why don't we brief Agent May."

Skye pulled Fitz away, as Darcy helped her limp up the stairs. Jemma's eyes lit up with fear as her companions left. Then her face completely fogged over. 

"Why was Simmons freaking so bad?" Skye asked once they were out of eye sight

"She had a bit of a crush on Bobbi after she saved her. I guess it never really went away." Fitz said still not looking Skye in the eye. 

"Wow, he is so awkward it's cute. What's the word? Adorkable" Skye though to herself then her eyes went wide. "No! Do not get attached!"

Darcy was chuckling, "Called it."

"I didn't know Simmons swung that way!"

"She swings both ways. She had a touch of a crush on you too you know." Fitz said nonchalantly causing Skye to go red for a bit. 

"What?"

"Yeah, Trip and Blake too"

Before she could say something they got up to the conference room where Mac, May and Hunter were already waiting for them. Once Hunter saw Skye limp he got a smug look on his face turned to Fitz and opened his mouth to say something when Skye cut him off. 

"Hunter, I swear to all that is holy... if you say something I will Ice you in the face." He closed his mouth but the look stayed. 

Through clinched teeth May said, "What. The hell. Happened."

"The 0-8-4, well it went off and infected Bobbi and Simmons" Skye said trying not to laugh at the faces of Hunter and Mac. Mac looked embarrassed for them. Hunter looked excited, he looked at May through the corner of his eye. He then dove and hit the screen on to the lab, showing Bobbi and Jemma in a passionate embrace. 

With a plethora of people telling Hunter off. He cut them all off, "ooo, look Bobbi's already got her pants off already!" Causing everyone to look to see that Bobbi indeed had her pants off. 

"Oh God, it working so fast!" Hunter said. 

"Any theories?" May asked. 

"It's working faster because they're female?" He said getting glared at by the three remaining females "Hey! Don't ask me! This is out of my wheel house. The biochemists are the ones infected!"

After he said this everyone kind of felt guilty. Just because he was a genius he wasn't expected to know everything. 

"Ya think I should go down there and take care of Bobbi's... Needs?" Hunter asked "We were married. Won't be as awkward in the morning as she would be if she was with Simmons."

"Well, Mr. Bobbi Morse" Skye began "There are two major problems with that plan."

Hunter raised an eyebrow as to say well go ahead. 

"Well.. First" she paused as to figure out how to phrase this next part. " It's not a secret that females have more... Stamina when it comes to this."

This got her dirty looks from all the men, and a fist bump from Darcy. She then continued "We have more stamina, and I was barely was able to keep up with Fitz. Do you really think you can keep up with Bobbi?"

With that, Fitz's face got a red that Skye had never seen in a human as he walked to the other side of the table. "Oh relax Fitz! It was just sex!"

His eyes went wide and Mac and Darcy were suppressing giggles. But she ignored all three and continued as she hit the camera to lab off. 

Bobbi was in nothing but underwear and Jemma had just gotten to second base. Skye knew from experience that they wouldn't want anyone else to see that. 

"And second (if it works) that only takes care of Bobbi. What the hell are we supposed to do for Jemma." Everyone just gave her blank stares "Exactly! Best just let the two of them hash it out."

May looked annoyed. Finally she sighed "Fine. There doesn't seem to much more we can do." She looked around seeing no answer and said "Fine. I'll update Coulson. He'll want to talk to you two." And with that she walked up to the cockpit. 

As everyone else went their separate ways. Darcy stopped Fitz and dragged him to his room. 

Darcy squinted her eyes, "I saw what you did Fitz."

His face paled. "I don't have any idea what you mean."

"Oh? So you didn't mess with the... thingy." She said a smirk appearing on her face, "Here's my theory. You waited 'til Skye got close enough and that's when you made you move. Trying to get her and yourself infected again."

The look on his face was all she needed. "Ok listen" he began "it's... Ok fine that's what happened. Ya happy?"

She smirked and walked away. Pausing at the command center. She turned the camera on to see Jemma and Bobbi both naked on the table. Jemma on top. Which surprised Darcy, she was sure in that relationship Bobbi would be the more dominate one. 

"Oh well" she thought "At least they're together


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After 3 or 4 hours after they had gotten to base, the mist had started to wear off on Bobbi. It only felt like seconds to Bobbi but the next thing she knew he woke up to the 110 pound naked girl laying on her equally naked chest. It took all her training not to move or panic, because of what she learned from Skye. If you wake an infected person up, they're most likely gonna be horny. 

She turned her head and saw that some one took pity on them and had the lab windows shaded. She decided that Jemma didn't get spray much after her so the effects would wear off soon but not soon enough. She was sprayed first, so not only would the effects wear off more quickly due to that; the mist wouldn't have as much of an effect on her considering she was bigger than Jemma. 

"Jemma???" She thought in a panic "No. It's been so awkward since the 'Real SHIELD' incident. We were starting to get to a better place."

Jemma was her first female friend since Izzy who was gone or Natasha, who was to busy Avenging to ever take or hang out. And let's be honest, Mac was great but it wasn't the same as having a girlfriend. 

Jemma must've sensed her inner turmoil, because she woken up and gave her what seemed to be her version of a sly grin. She locked her lips to Bobbi's who stayed static. She then moved her arms to push Jemma off, when Jemma realized she wasn't kissing back. 

She opened her eye and saw where Bobbi's hand were and a look of annoyance passed through the face of the person in Jemma Simmons body. Because this was definitely NOT Jemma Simmons. 

She knocked both hand away and stood up. Bobbi tried to sit up when Jemma grabbed her on both sides right under the rib cage picked her up and backed her into a wall. 

"Ok," Bobbi thought to her self. "The mist must cause some sort of adrenaline rush, because there is no way in hell this tiny girl could lift me like that otherwise."

As Jemma had her pinned to the wall, Bobbi tried to push her away again; Jemma grabbed both arms above the elbows and pinned both arms above Bobbi's head. Quite painfully. When Bobbi cried out in pain she could feel Jemma smirk. 

Like resistance was part of the hunt or something. Then it clicked in Bobbi's head, thats probably exactly what it was. She had become too animalistic. 

When Bobbi moved her head to stop Jemma from kissing her, she heard what could only be described as a growl. She let go of Bobbi's arms and grabbed the back of Bobbi's neck and pushed down. 

Bobbi's head was level with Jemma's belly button when Jemma wrapped her up from right under her boobs, and literally carried her over to a table. Bobbi couldn't help but feel a tiny bit embarrassed by this. 

Jemma had Bobbi on the table. Her right hand pinning both arms above her head. Her knees wrapped around Bobbi's thighs, preventing them from moving and then her left hand fondling Bobbi's breasts all the while kissing Bobbi. 

After a few minutes Jemma just stopped as well. She opened her eyes in horror and cried out. She quickly put a lab coat on. She started banging on the door to tell everyone they could leave. All the while Bobbi was putting her clothes back on. 

"Well" Bobbi thought. "No more awkward then I thought."

_______________________________

 

Fitz was in his room reading Cho's newest journal when he heard the knock on his door. Before he had time to answer Skye came barging in. 

"Darcy said you needed to tell me something?"

"Uh no I did-- uh I'm fine"

"Fitz, you're a terrible lier."

"I am not! And yes I've had sex before-- it just hasn't happened since Sci-tech."

"Uh huh suuuuure" Skye said in disbelief. "So what did you want to talk about."

Fitz started looking at his toes and talking. "What? I can't hear what you're saying!"

He sighed loudly, "Simmons may not have been the only one who had a bit of a crush when you joined the team."

"Is it back?"

"Just a bit."

"What going on with you and Simmons?"

"Nothing, we decided we're better as friends"

She nodded in satisfaction, look at the door and closed it with her powers. She started in buttoning her shirt. 

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing!"

"What's it look like? Take off your pants-- I'm sorry trousers" he look at her like she had grown a second head. "Go on then!"

He didn't have to be told twice

**Author's Note:**

> Except for Phil/May, Darcy's ships are my personal ones.


End file.
